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My Personal Journey

1/11/2019

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By Janine Brooker

My name is Janine and I am a kaiako (teacher) at The Learning Centre in Ponsonby, Auckland. I started working at TLC over three years ago. For me, it was a dream opportunity. But it hasn’t been easy. Now I have completed a continuity of care cycle, it has made me reflect on how I have changed as a teacher and remember my own personal journey...


The time has come to say goodbye to my cohort of 3 1⁄2 year olds and return to the Kākano room to begin again with a new cohort of infants. I remember feeling a combination of excitement, anxiety and pride to once again be in a position to meet new parents, role model the philosophy and be an advocate for TLC and Magda Gerber’s Educaring® Approach.

I guess I feel better prepared this time, as the first time around was a difficult journey to say the least. I had learned about RIE® and Magda Gerber’s Educaring® Approach around 2011 and did the RIE® Foundations: Theory and ObservationTM course with Polly Elam and Sharon Smith. This was an amazing experience that had me buzzing with the possibility of using the RIE® principles in my old centre, being a mentor for my fellow teachers, sharing this vision with the management team......but no.....that did not happen. I came to the realisation that some people just don’t care about respecting infants, toddlers or young children, they will ‘care for them’ and ‘meet their needs’ in the way they believe is appropriate, but that’s as far as it goes. To say I had a huge reality check, was an understatement. Then I changed centres and even though it seemed to be more opportunity to work with infants under this philosophy, it still couldn't quite reach its full potential. I was more than disappointed, why was this so hard?

Respecting infants, trusting their abilities, creating an environment that supports free movement, responsive care. Sounds great right? Having a program for toddlers that supports their independence and interdependence. That works with their autonomy.. Small numbers, flexible timeframes, consistency and creating limits and boundaries that provide optimum learning opportunities for the children. Perfect! What about, uninterrupted play, respectful communication, listening, equity, partnership, one on one care routines, trust, observation, planning ..and so on...That's what we do isn’t it?

Teachers following the Educaring® Approach do all this and more. So why is there so much resistance from centres and teachers? Why do some people get so dismissive, even passive aggressive, when we try to discuss how we can be more respectful with the infants in our care. When we try and open up discussions about Magda Gerber’s vision for children and families with our centre managers or team leaders, the proverbial door gets slammed in our faces. I felt like I was hitting my head against a brick wall. Only a handful of teachers I knew, felt the RIE® principles were the only way it should be. Others were outright derisive. I think I gave up a little bit then. I stopped reading about the philosophy and stopped wanting to share it with others. I am ashamed to say, I think I even stopped being a respectful teacher and just went along with what everyone else was doing. It felt wrong.

Then came the opportunity to work at TLC!! To work with women I had seen at workshops...talking about the philosophy, loving it, understanding it. In my mind, it was the ‘holy grail’ of RIE® inspired teachings. It was the place to learn, to grow and to finally see how the philosophy translates to real practice in a centre that has Magda Gerber’s Educaring® Approach in its heart and everything is done with that in mind. I was beyond excited. I had heard of Elena Marouchos, Ania Wojcikowski and Nikki Grazier and knew that this was where I needed to be.

When I finally got upstairs to work alongside Elena and the upstairs team and begin my own cohort.....I seemed to lose myself. I forgot some of the basics of the Educaring® Approach. I didn’t know who I was as a teacher. I wanted to be a RIE® teacher and ‘wipe away’ my teaching practices from the other centres. I didn’t want to be like that anymore...I wanted to be a teacher like Elena and Ania. But as much as I wanted that...it didn’t happen.. I made mistakes, I dwelled on the choices I made with the children, I second guessed my decisions and I knew I wasn’t being a strong team member or a confident and authentic teacher.

The first meeting I had with Elena, stays with me even two years later. I’ll never forget what she said to me that day. She looked at me and said “I don’t know who you are as a teacher. I can’t give you advice, guidance or even comment on how you are with the children, because you are NOT being your authentic self......I can see that.....you know this and the children can sense it.” Of course it wasn’t word for word, but the message was clear. STOP trying to ‘DO’ RIE® and learn to ‘FEEL’ RIE ® . Don’t be afraid to be yourself, you are learning and if you are unsure what to do with the children in a way that reflects the philosophy, then we have something to work on.

I’ll be honest, some days I felt like throwing it all in. I felt frustrated at myself and exhausted mentally and emotionally. Some days I cried in the car on the way home. I remember thinking I was a crap teacher and I was never going to ‘get’ this. But every morning I got back in that room and I watched and listened to Elena with the children, then we talked and worked out strategies and I tried to remember all the things that were explained to me. It made sense. I loved the philosophy. I believed in the principles. I could see how the children responded, learned and developed under this philosophy and it amazed me. I could see a difference in the way the children in my last centre expressed themselves, their sense of self awareness, self regulation, confidence, inner directedness, it was not where it could be. The way the children at TLC moved, responded; their independence, their holistic growth and the development of their skills, 
proved the philosophy worked! What Magda Gerber and Dr. Emmi Pikler believed about children’s capabilities was true and I could see it and I wanted.....NEEDED to be a part of this. So as frustrating and raw as this experience was sometimes, I trusted Elena. I knew she saw potential in me and I wanted to prove to her and to myself that I could FEEL this philosophy; that it came from my heart, not just from my head.

We laugh about that time now, Elena and I. She looks at me with warmth and affection (I think) when we reminisce about all my ‘challenges’ in the K
ākano room. She uses me in her talks at workshops to express that our time was a learning curve for both of us. I think, for me, the most precious part and the most humbling, is when she looks at me and says softly and emphatically, that she learned about herself from me??! Those words are a gift. Personally, I think I gave her many sleepless nights and a few more gray hairs!!

So my journey continued from the (Kākano room) young infants, to the (Weka room) older infants to the (Kea space) toddler room and then to the Tūī room with the pre-school children. I LOVED being part of TLC's vision for continuity of care. After all the growth and soul searching I did in the Kākano room, I felt that it was worth it, to move with my cohort of six children through all the spaces. I continued learning along the way and at some point I think I even became a mentor for some of the other teachers!?! It was a wonderful experience that made me understand myself more and I learned that even when you feel like you are at your lowest point, you can come back up. Self belief, resilience, determination, confidence, trust and respect for yourself and others, gives you the strength to work through obstacles. To be the person you want to be at the end of the day. This is the type of learning we want for our children right? What a lesson to learn at this stage of my life and what a gift we can give our children.

Teaching infants, toddlers and young children under the RIE
® principles is visionary and creates a future where there is hope and compassion and kindness. It is celebrating and accepting children in each stage of their growth and it is preparing them to be the adults we hope they will be. It’s why we do what we do.

So now.....I’m back upstairs.to begin again........

Janine is a teacher at The Learning Centre (TLC) in Ponsonby, Auckland. She completed RIE® FoundationsTM in 2011 with Polly Elam and Sharon Smith.
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Applying RIEĀ® in personal life when unexpected tragedy strikes.

1/10/2019

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A Personal Reflection on Educaring® and Life By Malenka Robinson

As I venture more and more into my life and deeper into my Educaring® journey; increasingly the truth behind the notion that we do not do RIE® but live RIE® becomes more apparent and real. It is easy to walk the everyday walk of life, to just keep going, thinking that we are doing pretty good, practicing what we are preaching; however, it is when something unexpected happens, when stress rises that we commonly revert to our defaults. During these times our true values, ways of being and support systems become evident and are confirmed.

I was in this situation in September 2018 during my pregnancy with my first-born. Following conception my pregnancy progressed without anything to note except a low-lying placenta at 22 weeks. This was not a concern; it is relatively common and often changes as the pregnancy progresses. I had experienced frequent movement, however being a first pregnancy, it was hard to know what to expect, I had no benchmark from a previous experience to draw upon. It was at a routine midwife appointment at 31.5weeks that my world came crashing down. My midwife struggled to find a fetal heartbeat. At this point I headed to the Women’s Assessment Unit (WAU) at Auckland Hospital where my husband met me. It was here that it was confirmed that there was no heartbeat, that our baby had unexpectantly passed away.

Several hours later in this unbelievable course our lives had taken, we received, what I consider our first blessing, I moved into spontaneous labour and gave birth to our first-born son, Manu. Unfortunately, this relatively easy birth was following by theatre for me as I experienced a haemorrhage. A couple of hours later I was reunited with my wh
ānau including our wee Manu to try to comprehend what had just taken place. A day off work with a couple of appointments, including a relaxing massage and the excitement of the final build up to the inaugural NZITC Unfolding conference had suddenly been extremely upended!

It was like living a dream, it all felt surreal and I had to keep reminding myself that this was real time, that this 
had just happened and that the numbness would eventually pass. My only thoughts at this time was that this was not the entry into motherhood I had envisioned; I knew it was going to be different and challenging but this was hard, the why questions started. The question of how we would bounce back from this and the knowledge that my life would never be the same again kept being at the forefront. Now 11 months on, as we approach another milestone from this first year, I look back on the months that followed Manu’s birth and I can see how Educaring® and Magda’s ideas had permeated my personal life from my professional life. I can see how these have become part of who I am, they have become some of my defaults.

One of the biggest choices I was able to make was to Slow Down. Slowing down is something that educators often struggle to do as we meet the needs of others and get all the tasks done, yet it is an imperative foundation to Magda’s ideas. Magda said, “Do less, observe more, enjoy most.” For me following Manu’s birth I had an option. I could keep extremely busy, return to work following brief bereavement leave and pretend that life was as it was before his passing or stop, do less, and allow my life to crumble. I chose to do the latter, I chose to take maternity leave, do less, observe what was happening for me, my husband and close family and somehow find little moments to enjoy. Moments as simple as sitting on the deck, listening to the chicken’s cluck with no southerly wind blowing in off the harbour, or savouring the scent of an essential oil a friend gave me.


In the initial months every waking moment I was affronted by the fact that I had not planned to be in this place. While slowing down seemed a little crazy, it allowed me time. Time to grieve, time to cry, time to smile, time to laugh occasionally, time to reflect, time to just BE. It gave me space to allow emotions to flow and be expressed. It gave space for me to accept that anger, grief and sadness were acceptable to express anytime, anywhere. I didn’t feel the need to suppress these emotions or expect others around me to suppress their 
emotions, especially if they were different to mine. I was able to accept and acknowledge these emotions. “Remember, crying is a baby’s language – it is a way to express pain, anger, and sadness. Acknowledge the emotions your baby is expressing. Let him know he has communicated.” – Magda Gerber. Crying became my language and release. Emotional literacy, allowing children to learn about and express their emotions, rather than suppressing or ignoring them is important in our work with children, yet, we often don’t allow this of ourselves, and other adults. This leads me to authenticity and respect.

Giving myself and my husband permission to be authentic was a colossal aspect of my healing. To do what I needed to do or often just do nothing, to feel what I was feeling or feel numbness, to be indecisive, to sleep, to workout, to read, to question, to just be and allow others to do what they needed. Not having expectations allowed this authenticity to emanate. For me, allowing authenticity spoke respect.


Respect is the underlying principle of the Educaring® Approach. And this respect starts with self-respect. How can we sincerely respect others around us and the children in our care if we cannot respect our self? RIE® advocates meeting the child where they are, accepting what they can do today and enjoying this rather than wanting them to be on the next level. As a RIE® influenced practitioner I strive to do this, to accept where children are at right now and allow them to be in that place for as long as they need to be. Following Manu’s passing I had to do this for myself. I couldn’t physically or emotionally be anywhere else, I also had to do this for others on this journey, I had to allow them to be where they were, to do things differently to me. I found myself giving this respect to myself and to others.


While I earlier mentioned not having expectations, I did still have boundaries. I had to have physical boundaries, as I would burnout if I did too much, and I had to have social boundaries too. One of them was that it was ok to not go to events and be around others. Consistency and predictability within my days kept me going and eventuality got me back to a place of ‘normality’ if such a place exists.

The final aspect that I recognise as being evident in my life during this past year of grief and healing was having a secure base. This we should all know is imperative to our work with children as primary or main caregivers. We act as a secure base for them especially during times of change. I was lucky to have two secure bases during this time. One was my husband, as I knew he totally got what I was experiencing from his previous experience and the other was my God, who sure wasn’t going anywhere.

As Manu’s anniversary approaches and I have been reflecting on the past year, it has been interesting to examine how that during this time the people who got what I was dealing with, who were able to allow me time to heal and continue to allow me to be where I am on this journey to this day, many of them are familiar to the Educaring approach themselves. It is also thought provoking to see how the boundaries between professional life and personal life are blurred in relation to living the philosophy. I could not separate the two ways of being, they are entwined every day of my life. Don’t do RIE®, live RIE®, it’s so much more fulfilling and authentic.


Malenka is an NZITC Board member. She completed RIE® Foundations with Polly Elam in 2011 and completed her RIE® Practicum with Sharon Smith in 2019.
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